“I got you” she said.
“Thank you so much!” I replied.
“You are God sent; an angel!” I added.
I hung up, shook my head and exhaled a deep sight of relief.
Hope had reemerged.
That was the end of a two-hour long marathon; a back and forth between two medical giants. All I desired was to transfer my radiology records from one institution to the other. But on both ends of the line, each representative stood firm on their team’s position. Like an unconsciously rehearsed script, call after next, each actor recited the same storyline with hypnotic precision and rigidity. With pointed fingers, they repeated:
“THEY must initiate the transfer first. It is so easy for them to do it. We CAN’T.”
The Unnecessary Burden
In the midst of the stalemate, the knee pain, the run around and the longing for respice, I asked myself: Why AM I caught in the middle? How is it that it falls on me, the patient, to have to broker a solution?
While each representative was focused on being right, they collectively failed at fulfilling their vocational mission —serve the sick. Instead of diligently working toward my healing, they were burdening me with procedural and emotional labor.
Occasionally, an associate on either end of the line deplored the fact that I was caught in the middle. But any glimmer of hope was quickly squashed as they swiftly reverted back to their rehearsed chorus: the unquestioned belief that they had no agency in this situation. No-one asked, what CAN I do for this patient?
Unfortunately this was not new for me. I have found over the years that when professionals are entrenched in cultural narratives or positional bargaining, they become blind and numb to the unnecessary burden laid on those they are supposed to serve. And often, that patient or customer is someone in dire need of help already.
This begs the following question for all of us: What cultural narrative might be preventing us from noticing or caring for those who need our help?
The Unexpected Friend
From the moment Nancy picked up the phone, she operated differently. She cared. She asked about my story and automatically said: “I am hearing this more often than I should.”
Let’s unpack this for a moment.
Acknowledgment
Woven in her response was an acknowledgement of the systemic failure. With a simple statement she acknowledged the truth of the situation and in so doing, communicated to me:
“I hear you and I would be frustrated too”.
This was a break from what I had experienced thus far. The courage she displayed by being honest about the failure of the system and for taking responsibility for that failure, were refreshing. It felt like a lifeline.
Rewriting the storyline
To the listening ear, communities, institutions, nations and systems always tell a story. Nancy heard it and noticed the pattern. She did not isolate my story as an outlier experience. Instead, she situated it within the arc of a collective storyline. And, for Nancy, the destination of the story did not align with the values she signed up for.
So, instead of upholding a position and reciting a practiced narrative, she chose to relate, be rooted in her values, and respond accordingly.
She initiated the transfer.
As a result, in the midst of physical pain, frustration and discouragemeent, her courage, curiosity and compassion disrupted the hypnotizing and draining chant of apathy I was hearing.
She rewrote the ending of the storyline.
She said “All these people who said they can’t. They can. They know how to initiate the process. There is no established procedure for these transfers. So everyone does it differently. It just depends on who you get on the line. Patients are then left to scramble.”
“I got you” she said.